The key to lifelong sexual satisfaction

Good enough male and couple sexuality is not only normal for satisfied and happy couples; it's a key to lifelong sexual satisfaction for both the man and the couple. When couples stop being sexual, whether at 40, 60, or 80, it is almost always the man's decision, made unilaterally and conveyed nonverbally. He can no longer guarantee perfect erection and intercourse so he is at first anxious, then embarrassed; then experiences inhibited sexual desire and, ultimately, avoidance of all sensual or sexual touch because he doesn't want to start something he can't finish. The healthy cycle of intimacy, positive anticipation, pleasuring, eroticism, intercourse, orgasm, and satisfaction has been overthrown by anticipatory anxiety, performance-oriented intercourse which increasingly fails, and then forfeits intimacy, pleasuring, or eroticism.

Probably 90% of men by age 40 have had at least one experience of erectile failure. By 50, half of men report at least mild erectile anxiety. Contrary to advertising and marketing campaigns, relying on Viagra to return you to 100% perfect intercourse performance is not the answer, although for many men pro-erection medications are a valuable resource. The answer is adopting a broad-based, flexible approach to sexuality that involves intimacy, physical vitality, pleasuring, eroticism, and seeing your partner as your sexual friend, mixed with positive, realistic expectations of good enough sex.