The fact is that at some point in their lives, over 90% of men report a sexual concern or problem. The most common sexual dysfunctions (SDs) are premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, inhibited sexual desire, compulsive masturbation (often to porn web sites), ejaculatory inhibition, and a sexual secret (variant arousal pattern, preferring masturbation over couple sex, history of sexual trauma, and sexual orientation conflicts). The major sexual health problems are sexually transmitted diseases, poor health habits subverting sexual function, medical illness and side effects of medications, infertility, and fears of aging. The most common relationship problems are dissatisfaction with the partner, affairs, unresolved couple conflicts, as well as not valuing the relationship, or not valuing couple sexuality.
Traditional myths maintain that women have sexual problems, but men don't. A real man is always ready for sexual performance with no questions, doubts, or concerns. What bravado. A number of studies indicate that sexual dysfunction (SD) is common. Almost every man at some point in his life will experience an SD. At any given point in time, about 35 - 40% of individuals (31% of men, 43% of women) have an SD. We live in a culture that idealizes and exaggerates the idea that sex should be spontaneous, perfect, or great every time. Yet it is normal to have sexual difficulties. One study found that 97% of men (95% of women) had an important sexual concern at some point in his life, important enough to want to talk with their doctor. Yet only 23% of the men reported that they did in fact discuss their concerns with a professional clinician.
Men's partners also frequently experience sex dysfunction. A good number of couples experience multiple, simultaneous sex dysfunctions. For example, she experiences pain with intercourse while he has erectile dysfunction; or he has premature ejaculation and she experiences low sexual desire. It is crucial that you appreciate any sexual difficulty she may experience, because your SD could be a response to her difficulties. Cooperate as a team to work together regardless of the SD. Bring the same acceptance and support to her that you want for yourself.